Many tools can be used to measure a physical object.  We can use a yard stick, a ruler, a tape measure.  Any one these can help us determine the hight, width, or length of an object.  But what if we are trying to measure something more intangible?  What if we are trying to measure: an attitude, a behavior, or the quality of a relationship?  How are we to measure these aspects of our daily life?  Well I believe there is a type of "ruler" that can help us measure these qualities - it is know as The Golden Rule.  It is not a new or modern philosophy - but rather a simple and profound principle.  There are several variations of it (found in various cultures and religious writings), The version most of us know best was taught by Jesus in Matthew 7:12 (NIV), "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets."  As I ponder the Golden Rule, I'm struck by how desperately we need to apply this law to every area of our life today...

I don't know how I did it; but somehow I managed to disconnect the lock mechanism from this jar (which clamps to the lid and holds it closed.)  The mechanism doesn't look too complex.  My wife said we could simply purchase a new jar - but I assured her I could get it back together.  So I tried, and I tried, and I tried again.  No matter how I tried to reconnect it - it didn't work.  I spent hours "messing" with it.  My wife said, "Why don't you just give up?"  But I was determined - after all I wasn't trying to solve a Rubic's cube!  Surely I could figure out how to reconnect a simple lever back onto a jar!  But finally, in total frustration, I decided to seek help from a friend...

May Day, throughout the years, has meant different things to different people.  It originated in Europe as a celebration of the coming of Spring and the appearance of "new life."  Celebrations featuring dances "around the May pole" were common.  In this country May 1 soon became associated with the American Labor movement with appeals for fair policies for workers (like an 8 hour work day).  Today, for some, it has become a day for rallies and protests against various national policies - unfortunately at some of these, unkind (even hateful and violent) language is used thus heightening the political tension we now see in our country.  But for at least two people I know (my wife and her sister Katie), May Day presents a much different type of opportunity:  It has become, for them, a day to share love.

Fortunately, I'm well on my way to healing from surgery (this past summer) to remove melanoma from my left arm.  I am so thankful for the medical team who have been apart of my diagnosis, surgery, and recovery.  (Pictured above is me with one of the surgical nurses who tended to me during the surgery recovery process.)  I've shared in another post ("Deal With Problems When They Are Small") that this cancer was discovered after I my dermatologist retired and I had gone for three years without a dermatological check up.  I became concerned about some skin issues after a friend, in my church study group, was diagnosed with a cancer on his face, and I felt something of an "inner urging" to find a new dermatologist and have some places on my arms and face looked at.  This, however, proved to be a more challenging task that I had imagined.  Still I felt that God was with me and speaking to me through out this entire process.

The summer of 2025 was a challenging one for me.  In June I was discovered to have a melanoma on my left forearm.  While it had been my "medical discipline" to see a dermatologist once each year, several years ago my dermatologist retired and somehow I "fell through the cracks" in making an appointment with a new doctor.  I really didn't give it much thought until a friend, in our church small group, was diagnosed with a cancer on his face.  Fortunately they were able to remove it quickly and completely; but my friend's experience was a wake up call. I hadn't seen the skin doctor in three years and I had several places on my arms and face that I wondered about.  So I got a referral for a new dermatologist from my Primary Care Physician and scheduled the first available appointment.  Interestingly, when the doctor examined me, I was told that all of the places I was concerned about were nothing to worry about.  But then he came to my left arm.  Immediately the doctor was concerned.  Skin issues on my left arm were not even "on my radar" but he told me to lay down and that he was going to numb my arm and take a biopsy.  About 8 days later he called to tell me it was a melanoma and that he was referring me to a surgeon - I needed immediate attention.  Two weeks later I was having semi-major surgery to remove the melanoma, do a skin graft, and surgically biopsy lymph nodes.  I am very fortunate, and thrilled to report, that they were able to remove all of the melanoma from my arm and the lymph nodes were completely clear - they had caught it before it spread.  But from this experience I knew that this melanoma would have been much more easily dealt with if It had been discovered when it first began.   I was reminded of a valuable life lesson:  Deal With Problems While They Are Still Small!

There are some areas of life where we are forced to make "either/or" decisions.  It is sort of like a "coin toss."  The choice can only be "heads" or "tails."  But many times, especially in the arena of personal relationships and group options, "either/or" thinking is a fallacy which leads to struggles and conflict.  We especially see this in the area of couple's disputes:  The wife wants things her way; the husband wants things his way.  A power struggle ensues as each tries to convince (manipulate) the other.  But through my training as a family therapist (and especially my training in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy) I've come to believe that there is usually an "Our Way" which can help a couple move forward with renewed hope.  Now I'm not talking about a simple compromise; rather I'm talking about the discovery of a shared vision that embraces the true hopes and dreams of both parties.  Unfortunately, I believe that our country (like many couples) has fallen prey to the plight of "either/or" thinking when it comes to many of the issues that are before us today.  One in particular is the issue of immigration.

It is not often that I plunge into the waters of political opinion.  But I truly believe there is a way forward from the deep division in which our nation finds itself.  As I listen to the arguments, from both political sides, its seems to me that the primary concern of one group is that of National Safety while the primary concern of the other side is that of Compassion.    But somehow it seems that we have fallen victim to the thinking that Safety and Compassion are mutually exclusive ("either/or') outcomes.  I do not believe that they are.  In fact, I believe that pursing national safety in a way that shows compassion is the answer to this current national struggle.  Suppose that Safety and Compassion could live together.  How would the merger of these two qualities speak to our immigration policy?  I would suggest the following...

My cousin is a retired attorney.  Years ago he told me something that I've remembered to this day.  He told me that he regularly tells his clients, "I can protect you from many things:  I can protect you from unsubstantiated allegations.  I can protect you from legal harassment.  I can protect you from unfair legal process.  But there is one thing I cannot protect you from - I cannot protect you from yourself!"  What he was referring to was the damage a client can do if they make bad decisions or begin to speak openly about their case in ways that can be used against them.  What he was saying is a reinforcement of the well know truth:  sometimes we are our own worst enemies.  As I've pondered this precept over the years I'm convinced that this is true in many areas of life...

We've been enjoying the work of getting the Christmas lights up on my house.  Advent has now begun and the "Season of Joy and Light" is in full swing.  Beth has been helping me "test the lights" by letting me "light her up" with each string.  She is a good helper and also seems to enjoy helping me with this project.  This season can bring joy in so many ways.  For many though, this "season of joy" is also a "season of grief."  Over the past year (or past several years) many have lost loved ones and the sense of loss is especially strong as they try to navigate through Christmas traditions and family gatherings.  The question that's on their mind is, "How will I find joy in the Christmas season when my grief is so real?" The question is a complex one and a specific answer is unique to each individual, but I believe there are some helpful truths that we can all think about...

Last week our neighbor was frantic - a little bird had gotten itself caught in one of her outdoor "insect glue traps."  In an effort to free itself the little bird became more "trapped" and had glue all over his feathers and feet.  Very carefully, Kristi and Phylis (our neighbor) pulled the bird loose from the trap.  Still, the bird could not fly; his feathers were too "gummed up" from the glue.  The question now became, "How do you safely remove glue from feathers?"  Kristi took the bird to two local Vets who told her to first wash the bird in Canola oil and then with Dawn dish soap and water.  With a little tinder love and care, Kristi soon had the bird "cleaned up" - but, he still didn't seem able to fly.  We decided his feathers were still too heavy and wet.  So Kristi placed him in a shady place in the back yard (with our cat locked in the bed room) and allowed him to "air dry."  Before long he "took to the air" and rejoined his friends.  Now this may not sound like a lengthy process, but in fact, Kristi spent almost 1/2 of a day "lending a hand" to this little bird.  I think there are several lessons for us all...

Recently my wife was very upset.  She was working in our guest bedroom and while taking off her sweater she felt an ear ring come loose from her ear and she heard a "click" as it fell - somewhere!  She immediately began to look but in the shag carpet she couldn't find it  This ear ring was very special to her - it had been a gift to her from her mother many years ago.  She looked and looked, and I looked and looked, but it seemed to be nowhere.  After several days she was just about to give up hope (we needed to vacuum as company was coming) but then she decided to pray one more time.  Then God showed up...