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Living The Hope

grieving through the holidays

11/25/2024

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We've been enjoying the work of getting the Christmas lights up on my house.  Advent has now begun and the "Season of Joy and Light" is in full swing.  Beth has been helping me "test the lights" by letting me "light her up" with each string.  She is a good helper and also seems to enjoy helping me with this project.  This season can bring joy in so many ways.  For many though, this "season of joy" is also a "season of grief."  Over the past year (or past several years) many have lost loved ones and the sense of loss is especially strong as they try to navigate through Christmas traditions and family gatherings.  The question that's on their mind is, "How will I find joy in the Christmas season when my grief is so real?" The question is a complex one and a specific answer is unique to each individual, but I believe there are some helpful truths that we can all think about...

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advent - a time to re-sync

11/29/2023

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I recently retired after 46 years of pastoral ministry.  Though the time was right, I had no idea the degree to which this decision was going to put me, "out of sync."  This is a term I've encounter often through my computer use:  I need to "sync" my Contacts with my message App.  I need to "sync" my printer with my computer.  I need to "sync" my photos with the "cloud.'  The term is referring to a process whereby everything will work together in a coordinated way.  Upon retirement, however, I soon realized that my life was no longer "in sync."  This was largely due to the discovery that I had lost a sense of "rhythm" in my life.  

I had never realized how important "rhythm's" are to one's life.  For 46 years I had developed sort of a "life rhythm."  There was a daily rhythm: I tried to begin and end each day with a time of Bible reading and prayer.  At some point, each evening, I would spend some time praying with Kristi; after that I would spend some time reading.   At some point, each day, I would try to visit with Beth and John.  Upon retirement I have mostly been able to retain my sense of daily rhythm; but there was also a weekly rhythm and that is where things began to fall apart:  On Monday I would select hymns, prayers, scriptures, and a Call to Worship, for the worship bulletin.  On Tuesday I would deal with church and Conference business matters.  On Wednesday I would outline my sermon and do some visits with church members.  On Thursday I attended Ministerial Alliance, Kiwanis, or Methodist Men's group. On Thursday I would also try to "follow up" on visitors to the church.  Friday was sort of a day off.  On Saturday I did the final work on my sermon.  Sure, there were weeks when funerals, weddings and other events changed the schedule.  But for 46 years this had pretty much become my weekly rhythm.  But there were annual rhythms as well:  September involved Charge Conference preparation, October was the annual Stewardship Drive, November brought Thanksgiving and launched us into preparations for December and Advent.  Throughout the years there was sort of a "cycle" to my life, and I realize now that it was this "cycle" or "rhythm" that kept my life in "sync."!  But life is different now and I realize that though I hated the "stress" of Advent, I am going to miss the special services of worship I led and the Advent sermons I'm accustomed to preparing to share with our church family.  So, I find myself at a stage of life where I am striving to find a new rhythm.  I think the new rhythm will partly have to do with the continued development of my counseling practice.  I'm hoping my new rhythm will be a result of my spending time with God and discerning His plan for me in this new season of life.   I am also hoping that perhaps my new rhythm will begin to emerge as I journey through this season of Advent.  In short - I'm praying that Advent will be a time for me to "re-sync!"...

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just fix the fuse

11/29/2023

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I spent three days working to put up the Christmas lights so our family could share in our annual "turning on the of the lights" on Thanksgiving evening.  I had tested all the lights before placing them in their appropriate places and I thought everything was "good to go."  But on Thanksgiving morning I decided to do a final test and one whole section of lights failed to shine.  I was frustrated and ready to throw away several strings of lights and purchase new ones.  But then my son and family arrived and my son had a different perspective on the problem...

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easy to tear down

1/21/2023

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I took advantage of a "break in the weather' yesterday and took down all of my outdoor Christmas lights.  The "dismantling took about three hours."  That surprised me because putting them all up took about three days!  The contrast struck me:  How much easier it is to "tear down" than to "build up!"  Why is this so?  The answer is that to "build something" (even an outdoor scene of Christmas lights" requires creativity, intention, purpose, and considerable effort.  To tear something down is sort of easy...

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partridge in a prayer tree

12/5/2022

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We did something new at my church for Advent this year.  For years we have sponsored an Angel Tree which provides our members with an opportunity to purchase gifts for children who desperately need to know they are not forgotten at Christmas time.  We continue in this tradition, but this year we also wanted to provide a way for our members to pray for one another as we journey together towards Christmas Day.  So, on Thanksgiving Sunday (one week before the 1st Sunday of Advent) we provided decorations upon which our congregation could write out a "seasonal prayer request."  At our Hanging of the Greens party these requests were hung upon a Christmas Tree and on the first Sunday of Advent members were encouraged to take a prayer request and make this request a part of their daily prayer time as we continued through the Advent season.  In the midst of these decorations someone placed a "partridge," on the tree so we began to refer to this Advent experience as our Partridge In A Prayer Tree, prayer opportunity.  So far, the entire experience has been extremely well received...

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let your light shine

12/2/2022

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For years it has been our family tradition to "turn on" the Christmas house lights during the evening of Thanksgiving day.  The "flipping of the switch" honor usually goes to our two grandsons who take delight in having the power to "make the lights shine."
This year, however, Thanksgiving began to "sneak up on me" and I wasn't at all sure I would have the lights ready by Thanksgiving night.  But with a "break in the weather" I took advantage of the opportunity and worked frantically for three days to get all of the lights in place and working.  
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At last, though worn out, I was ready for the grandchildren to come and for the official "turning on the lights" to commence.  But then something awful happened!....

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a christmas story to share

12/10/2021

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I had an unusual experience the other day; I went into a fast-food store to have a quick lunch and ended up in a conversation with a store manager.  We talked about some "general things" then talked about the coming of Christmas and how that would effect his store.  (Open till 10 on Christmas Eve but closed on Christmas Day).  Then he told me how he and his wife would share Christmas morning.  As I listened I was stunned; this is a story to share...

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joy in the midst of sorrow

12/6/2021

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Advent is a season of joy.  The theme of joy is found in many of our Advent and Christmas hymns:  "Joy to the world the lord is come...."  "Good Christian friends rejoice..."  "Oh come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant."  The list goes on and on.  On the third Sunday of Advent we light the candle of Joy on our Advent wreath.  In some ways there is an expectation that even those who are "down in the dumps" will have their hearts filled with joy during the seasons of Advent and Christmas.  But even though this is a season of  joy, for many this is also a season that is filled with sorrow and grief...

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advent - what the world needs now

12/6/2021

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The season of Advent began November 28th.  As a part of our Advent tradition we light a candle each week on the Advent wreath symbolizing the qualities of:  hope, love, joy, and peace.  On Christmas Eve we will light the white center candle - a symbol of the presence of Christ who is the "light of the world."  As we continue through the season of Advent I've been struck by the fact that perhaps there has never been a time when the qualities these candles represent are more needed in our world and in our personal lives as well...

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the christmas star

12/23/2020

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On December 21, my wife, daughter, and I stood in our driveway (Sapulpa, Ok) and marveled at the beautiful sight of Jupiter and Saturn (the two largest planets in our solar system) as they "aligned" and gave off a marvelous light, marking the beginning of the winter solstice.  Their alignment this year is rare and hasn't been seen since the Middle Ages.  It is this phenomenon, many believe, that the Wise Men witnessed so many years ago.  How blessed we are to have been able to see it as we approach Christmas day, 2020.  It should cause all of us to stop and think...

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    Dr. Allen Schneider is a  United Methodist pastor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist presently serving the Sapulpa and greater Tulsa communities.

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Photos from Base Camp Baker, amateur photography by michel, Homini:), shankar s., KatVitulano Photos
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