the golden rule - a guide for today

Many tools can be used to measure a physical object.  We can use a yard stick, a ruler, a tape measure.  Any one these can help us determine the hight, width, or length of an object.  But what if we are trying to measure something more intangible?  What if we are trying to measure: an attitude, a behavior, or the quality of a relationship?  How are we to measure these aspects of our daily life?  Well I believe there is a type of "ruler" that can help us measure these qualities - it is know as The Golden Rule.  It is not a new or modern philosophy - but rather a simple and profound principle.  There are several variations of it (found in various cultures and religious writings), The version most of us know best was taught by Jesus in Matthew 7:12 (NIV), "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the law and the prophets."  As I ponder the Golden Rule, I'm struck by how desperately we need to apply this law to every area of our life today...

Broken Relationships:
Recently I was visiting with a man who is going through a divorce.  There are many decisions to negotiate:  Who will stay in the home?  How will property be divided?  Who will have custody of the children?  With whom will the children spend holidays?  For most couples in this situation, stress is high and conflicts are many.  So I asked him, "What are your best hopes as you navigate through this life transition?"  I was shocked when he told me:  "Simply to live by the Golden Rule.  As I go through this divorce I want to treat my wife, in every way, as I would want to be treated."  What a refreshing response.  To actually treat, with kindness, someone with whom you are in conflict or has caused you pain; I was overwhelmed by his response.  The fact is, sometimes relationships fail:  business partners need to part company, marriages fall apart, friendships sometimes need to end.  But when relationships are broken, we don't have to make them worse by being vindictive or hateful.  The Golden Rule could save many couples a world of grief when, unfortunately, there is a decision to end the relationship.

Healthy Relationships
But it's not just in Broken Relationships that the Golden Rule is helpful - I'm convinced that healthy relationships can be made even stronger when we practice the Golden Rule.  When there is respect, kindness, care for one another, (all of the ways we like to be treated) the outcome can only be stronger relationships.  I believe when there is a deliberate decision to treat others as we would like to be treated that the entire nature of the relationship changes.  Consider for example when discipline is needed for children.  Most children require discipline from time to time; but when that is necessary, it doesn't mean that the parent has to be harsh, intimidating, or overly punitive.  Asking ourselves the question, "If i was in a position of needing correction, how would want to be treated?" is truly a helpful parenting guide.  It doesn't mean that there can't be consequences (these are usually needed), but it means that there is a way to be both firm and loving at the same time.  In fact discipline can be a wonderful expression of love - if it is done in the spirit of the Golden Rule.

Politics
It's an election year.  This is actually driving me sort of crazy.  I'm tired of all of the negative adds, hate-filled speeches, and incredibly disrespectful attitudes.  I wonder how a candidate would fair today if he/she decided to run their campaign according to the Golden Rule?  I don't mean that candidates wouldn't debate or present opposing proposals; but simply that they would do it in a way that would be respectful of their opponent.  The emphasis would be on sharing differing solutions to present problems, not character assignation or embarrassing one another.  If a candidate approached a political campaign with this attitude, I might vote for them even if I didn't agree with all of their policies!

The fact is, our list could go on and on describing all of the situations where the Golden Rule could be effectively applied.  The Golden Rule is not a difficult rule to learn - even small children can quote it and understand what it means.  But it's a rule that we must practice if we are going to allow it to be a guide for our life today.