safety and compassion

There are some areas of life where we are forced to make "either/or" decisions.  It is sort of like a "coin toss."  The choice can only be "heads" or "tails."  But many times, especially in the arena of personal relationships and group options, "either/or" thinking is a fallacy which leads to struggles and conflict.  We especially see this in the area of couple's disputes:  The wife wants things her way; the husband wants things his way.  A power struggle ensues as each tries to convince (manipulate) the other.  But through my training as a family therapist (and especially my training in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy) I've come to believe that there is usually an "Our Way" which can help a couple move forward with renewed hope.  Now I'm not talking about a simple compromise; rather I'm talking about the discovery of a shared vision that embraces the true hopes and dreams of both parties.  Unfortunately, I believe that our country (like many couples) has fallen prey to the plight of "either/or" thinking when it comes to many of the issues that are before us today.  One in particular is the issue of immigration.

It is not often that I plunge into the waters of political opinion.  But I truly believe there is a way forward from the deep division in which our nation finds itself.  As I listen to the arguments, from both political sides, its seems to me that the primary concern of one group is that of National Safety while the primary concern of the other side is that of Compassion.    But somehow it seems that we have fallen victim to the thinking that Safety and Compassion are mutually exclusive ("either/or') outcomes.  I do not believe that they are.  In fact, I believe that pursing national safety in a way that shows compassion is the answer to this current national struggle.  Suppose that Safety and Compassion could live together.  How would the merger of these two qualities speak to our immigration policy?  I would suggest the following...

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