a little help from our friends

I don't know how I did it; but somehow I managed to disconnect the lock mechanism from this jar (which clamps to the lid and holds it closed.)  The mechanism doesn't look too complex.  My wife said we could simply purchase a new jar - but I assured her I could get it back together.  So I tried, and I tried, and I tried again.  No matter how I tried to reconnect it - it didn't work.  I spent hours "messing" with it.  My wife said, "Why don't you just give up?"  But I was determined - after all I wasn't trying to solve a Rubic's cube!  Surely I could figure out how to reconnect a simple lever back onto a jar!  But finally, in total frustration, I decided to seek help from a friend...

,Now my friend is smart - but he's not that much smarter than me.  I was really beginning to think perhaps the lever was broken and my friend would tell me, "Allen, you need to throw this thing away."  But amazingly, we had lunch two days later and he had it fixed!  I couldn't believe it.  I asked him how long it took him to figure it out.  He said, "Abut 10 minutes."  I opened and closed it several times, just to make sure it really worked.  "So, how did you do it?" I asked.  He said, "I just looked at it and It became clear to me how it needed to go on."  Well, I had looked at it; pondered it; starred out it; analyzed it, and never could figure out how it went on!  Obviously, I was not looking at it in the same way as my friend; and this is exactly my point:  Often we get looking a a problem (or situation) from a certain perspective and for whatever reason (the nature of human frailty) we simply cannot see the problem in a different light.  Whether is a mechanical problem, a relational problem, a strategical problem; a problem involving numbers - whatever the case may be - we simply cannot see what (from the perspective of another) might be a very simple solution.  Sometimes we need the view point (perspective) of others to help us find our way forward.  The writer of Proverbs says it well, "Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisors they succeed (Pv. 15:22.)  Similar wisdom is found in the Proverbs 11:14:  "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors, there is safety."  

Now I don't believe we need to seek "counseling" for every problem or situation in life.  But sometimes getting the perspective of trusted friends can be a tremendous help.  Sometimes a friend is able to see the situation in a way that we just can't.  And personally, I have had the opportunity of being a source for "solution building" for some of my friends in times of need.  I remember one instance very well:  Some friends (a young couple) were in what, for them, was a very sensitive financial dilemma with the wive's brother.  It seems that a loan had been made and frequently the "payback" schedule was not being met.  This resulted in considerable tension between the husband and the wife.  After listening to their problem I said, "Why not just make the loan a gift and tell him to pay it back if and when he wants to; then you can just let it go and not worry about it."  The couple looked stunned as I suggested this, but quickly the husband replied, "That's the answer.  It solves everything.  Why couldn't we think of that!"  The reason they couldn't think of it was because they were stuck in conflict, hurt feelings, and resentment."  It is rare that I come up with solutions for other people's problems (especially in under 10 minutes) but in this particular case, my recommendation was just what they needed to hear..

All of us get stuck from time to time.  The reasons for our "stuckness" can indeed be many.  But sometimes  we simply need to admit that we are stuck and seek "a little help from our friends."  They may not be experts in relationships, mechanics, or anything else; but sometimes just their willingness to look at our problems in a different light, gives them a perspective that can truly help us find the answer we need.